The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Seen

It’s currently 3:50 am.  I got home 20 minutes ago, and I need to decompress a bit before I can get to sleep.

One of my best friends called me this evening, saying, “Hey, bro.  My buddy Bobby told me about this house party that’s going on.  It’s an Apron theme.  Everyone comes wearing an apron.  Could be chill.  Want to go?”

Two hours after I get there, I find out it’s being thrown by a bunch of people from a porn website.  This makes a few things make more sense.

Here’s the perfect moment of the evening (note: I didn’t drink or smoke at this party).

I’m standing on a balcony.  To my left, some girl with a paddle is spanking one of many guys who is wearing only an apron.  Downstairs there’s a “massage room” (90% certain that it’s just a room for a bunch of guys at to go have sex with each other).  To my right, a group of Germans is singing and passing around a huge glass boot, filled with Beer.  Below the balcony, three people are probably having sex on the couch.  I make the mistake of looking to my left again, and the girl is spanking the guy’s nutsack.

I didn’t believe that these parties happened in real life, until last night.