I’m currently taking part in a marketing survey, and one of their questions asked us to “Imagine you’re going to a party that’s being thrown by [A Company's Absurd Mascot]. Please write a paragraph describing the party.”
So, I thinks to meself, “Well, if’n that in’t a bit of a question. Might as well give as I get.” Here’s a paragraph that reflects how seriously I take marketing:
Red drapes hang everywhere, as I enter the first room. The giant lizard sort of freaks me out, but he’s polite, and he offers to take my coat. I turn back to inspect the décor, and all I can see is red. Each of the lights has a red shade on it, or a thin red cloth draped over the lamp. The light softens the room, and makes it look like it’s getting farther away at an amazing speed. To stop this sinking feeling of falling into a Red Abyss, I make my way past the gaggles and bevies of attractive women who are strewn about the place, out onto the back porch. The lizard is back there, just chillin’ for all to see. He reaches into the cooler at his knees and tosses me a Cold One. There’s plenty of Punch in a vat in the red house, but I’m a man of simple tastes, as is our host, apparently. I bum a cigarette from him, and we turn to gaze out over his expansive lawn. I inhale deeply, and know that this is going to be a crazy night.
